Food woes and baby worries

My appetite lately is out of control. Yesterday I pigged out on Mexican food for lunch. I also had a run in with Doritos in the afternoon. I sat there in the living room after husband went to work and went to work on two opened bags of Doritos. I started with the cool ranch, then ate some nacho cheese, then back to the cool ranch, then some more nacho cheese. I ate like it was my last meal (I guess it didn't help that I was genuinely hungry and should have made a real meal for myself and baby). I mean, I ate like I had smoked a big bad blunt and each Dorito was the best tasting thing in the entire world! This continued until I started to feel a little full and I began to realize what I had done. Well, although I was kind of full, I still had an appetite. I waited a few minutes and proceeded to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with a large glass of milk. Just thinking about it is grossing me out right now, but it was sooo good. I had had my fill of salt and I needed something that didn't taste salty so PB&J was just right. Of course, I had other snacks throughout the day for me and baby and I did take my prenatal vitamin. I try not to feel guilty for the bad (and disgusting) food choices I'm making, but it's tough. I ate some broccoli today, so I feel a little better. All I know is lately I've been eating way too much (ice cream, cookies, and potato chips) and my next doctor's appointment is on Wednesday. I feel like a hippo, and I'm waiting for the scale to tell me that I've gained ten pounds. I'm really scared.

I love reading books for the expectant mother, but I really can't stand the chapters on diet and nutrition. I have a book that's simply called Nutrition for a Healthy Pregnancy. If I really want to feel crappy and like a very bad mother-to-be, all I have to do is read a few choice pages out of this book, which states that an expecting mother should be eating 5-6 servings of fruits and vegetables daily. Jeez. Let's see, today I had orange juice (1), some lettuce in the chicken caesar wrap I had for lunch (does that count as 2? It was in a spinach tortilla too), and that broccoli I had with my sandwich for dinner (3). I guess potato chips don't count, huh. Well, the day's not over, maybe I can shove an apple down my throat and eat some carrots or something. Hey, I did have a Luna bar during the day. And I had bran cereal for breakfast. That counts for something, doesn't it?

I guess I worry too much. Last night I took a bath and was terrified that the water was too hot for baby. But then I felt her moving as I saw down to fold clothes and watch TV. Then during the night, as I got back in the bed after peeing for the millionth time, my cat jumps on the bed and proceeds to run across my belly. Now this cat weighs a good 17-18 pounds (no joke). I was sure my baby was hurt. I was really scared until I felt her moving around again in my belly. I guess she's a tough little thing. I'm just always so scared she's going to come out weak and malnourished and it's going to be all my fault.

Anyway, on a nice note, Kelly put a link to my blog. I feel special. She also has a great pic of her cat in a red feather boa. Also, on a not nice note, one of my other cats peed on the carpet. She's about 15 years old, and I'm starting to really think that she's senile and forgets where her litter box is. And, on a completely unrelated note, on the way home from work today I saw an 18-wheeler truck on fire. It was kind of freaky looking. And all I could think was, boy am I glad it's on the other side of the highway because I really have to pee!